if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Randomize
