Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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