I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
