My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
