The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
