I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
