don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
