question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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