Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
