I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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