A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
