You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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