On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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