I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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