You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
