Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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