i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
