so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize