In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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