I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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