Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
