This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
