the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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