normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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