Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
