just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
