Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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