Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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