Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
