i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
