You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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