id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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