I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
