The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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