me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
