found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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