I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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