She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
