i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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