If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
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I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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