turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
