I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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