In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
