It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
