C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
