Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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