there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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