If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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