I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
