kristin has been a bad kristin
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You made out with two different species that night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
