Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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