It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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