I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize