Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
