Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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