I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
