With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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