Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae