I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He felt like a one man threesome
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
