dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
