he shaved USA in his pubs
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize