I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
