Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
